Back to Front
The Preacher gazed upon his flock
And saw with something of a shock,
The rearmost pews were packed jam tight
but in the front, few souls in sight.
He pondered long when they were gone,
the cause of this phenomenon.
”Is there anything that I
can do to draw the people nigh?”
Can it be that Holy writ
has caused them at the rear to sit?
Than risk eviction in disgrace,
by sitting in too high a place.
And with these humble thoughts in mind,
they’re rooted to the pews behind,
hoping to achieve by this,
the welcome warmth of gregarious bliss.
Or were my strictures so severe,
they really didn’t want to hear!
Perhaps I, on the other hand,
should make my discourse rather bland.
In this house, it is not meet
to occupy a rearmost seat,
with drooping eyes, in sleep far gone,
whilst the sermon rumbles on.
Could we create some sort of slide
down which the worshippers would glide;
from sitting in the rearmost pew,
would be smartly whisked within my view.
If every other means should fail,
would sandwiches and light brown ale,
tempt them from their cosy perch,
and draw them to the front of church?
Don’t drive the Preacher to despair,
but hearken to his fervent prayer,
”To me in fellowship draw near,
the true and living Word to hear.”
With many peaceful blessings